After being diagnosed with diabetes three years ago, my weight has fluctuated from a high of 302 to a low of 240. And as any physician worth his or her salt will tell you that losing and gaining lots of weight is not good for you. Here is a photo of me coming in at 302. Notice the wonderful clothing you can wear when you get that big.So this past spring I had a long conversation with my primary care physician, who happens to be a nurse practitioner, and we started talking about long-term options to keep my blood sugar in check and also address my weight gain and loss. She mentioned that the Veteran's Administration (VA) was performing surgery on veterans to stem the long term effects of being OVERWEIGHT. Yes, that is right, at the height of my weight gain, I was MORBIDLY OBESE. Who would have ever thunk it?
So on 4 April 2008 I started down the path to see if I could qualify for bariatric surgery which included taking several surveys, attending multiple nutrition and goal setting classes, weekly group therapy behavior-modification sessions, an entire battery of mental assessments (six or seven), an evaluation by a psychiatrist, and I had to lose between five and ten percent of my BMI. By the 4th of June I had lost the weight and was referred to the surgical team in Dallas, Texas. My referral is for the 11th of July and that is when I will finally find out if and what kind of surgery I will be having or I may be coming home to sulk and eat an entire cheesecake.
One of the observations I wanted to make about this entire issue is the fact that not a single person that I have talked to over the past three months, except for two of my friends who are medical professionals, believe that I need to have the surgery or need to lose at least 100 pounds.
In the problem solving process, the first step is admitting that you have a problem. I now believe and have come to the realization that I am in fact MORBIDLY OBESE and need to lose a significant amount of weight to ensure that I am alive to see my children have children. But it still surprises me at the reaction I get from people when I tell them that I am thinking about having surgery.
-"No way, you're not fat,"
-"You don't need to lose that much weight,"
-"You have big bones."
I am not sure if people are just trying to be nice or if people just don't see the FAT that is in front of them. I truly believe that as a people in this country we have gotten so fat that I have become the face of the new "normal" person, I'm not fat, just big boned. The bottom line is that my bones structure is not big, I just have a lot of fat on the bones that I have.
What I have learned over the past three months is that I have an eating disorder: I EAT TOO DAMN MUCH! I am an emotional eater who eats when I am happy, sad, depressed, and hungry which means I eat emotionally just about all the time (I probably sneak snacks in my sleep or at least in my dreams cuz I never wake up hungry.) Additionally, I have huge problems with portion control....in lay terms that means my eyes are bigger than my stomach.
So now you have it.....I'm FAT and I have made a decision to NOT BE FAT. I have set some goals and one of those happens to be to continue to lose weight whether I get to have the surgery or not. Reduce my portions (only three ounces of meat at dinner) at meal time. Exercise at least 30 minutes a day at least four days a week. Eat at least two portions of fresh fruits and vegetables each day. Most of all continue to pray that My Father in Heaven will see fit to give me the strength, courage, and the fortitude to meet my ultimate goal: 155 pounds.As I continue on this journey I will let you know how everything is going.
Much Love and Respect,
Byron Lynn
P.S. I thought about eating eight times while writing this post!!!
11 comments:
well we are proud of your decision to take you life into your own hands. i would prefer you to be around to see your grandchildren too. You have to at least last long enough to go on a huge vacation with Kevin and I once all our kids are grown. Good luck on the 11th, our prayers will be with you no matter the outcome. Love you so much and miss you everyday!
Jen and Kevin
Good for you Byron. I hope you get to your goal and keep it all off. It's hard work, you can do it! Keep us posted on your progress.
I do have to add that I would have never thought you as MORBIDLY OBESE. Over weight, sure, who isn't these days like you pointed out but not morbidly obese.
Good luck! My family has been going through this all in the past year or so. My grandmother has a gastric bypass to help her. My mom went the diet/exercise route and has lost 130 pounds. She went the route of whole wheat/whole grains (no white bread, white rice, etc) and no sugar (she does splenda). Anyway, for both they've hit their targets and are doing things they never did before (my mom and dad kayak on the San Marcos River nearly every day now!!!). So good luck to you!!! It's a worthy and very attainable goal. ~Charly
Byron - I am really proud of you being able to put all of this "out there" so honestly. That is huge! I want you to know that I am behind you and will support you with good thoughts, prayer, etc. as you make these changes in your life. I'm a "Fat Chick" who is comfortable in her own body and with the word fat but, I understand where you are at in your life. I too have Type 2 diabetes and health issues that need to be addressed w/ weight loss. I am ready to make some much needed changes so that I too can live the long, healthy and happy life I am intended to live. In fact, I just smoked the LAST cigarette in my LAST pack of smokes this morning. Quitting that nasty, horrible habit is step one on my fitness plan. (Oops, now I am rambling...) Any hoo - best of luck to you. I have no doubt that you will be successful! Hugs and love from Albany...
JayLene
After Jessen lost 60 pounds I remember everyone telling him they couldn't believe he had that much to lose. I think we just get used to the way we look. The big thing for Jessen was portion control. He ended up losing a total of 70 pounds and has been able to keep it off with portion control, no eating after 7:00 and dessert only once a week. He still doesn't exercise very much...but his blood pressure is down and that is a good thing :) Good luck to you! The most important thing is taking care of yourself so you can be there for your family! However you get there, it is well worth the effort!
Good luck! Im already so impressed with the changes you have made. Oh, but 155 seems REALLY REALLY small for your height. Just an observation.
You know, I was totally going to mention Charly's mom, because her story is AMAZING! I remember her saying: "You know all that nonsense about eat right and exercise... well...I am sad to report that it works." LOL! :) Anyway, good luck to you! We'll be looking forward to hearing how things go!
P.S. I wanted to make sure you and Tara know about the party we're having at the end of July. Here's the invitation, and you're welcome to invite anyone else you think might be interested. I know it's a bit of a drive to our place, but we'd love to see you there! :)
KUDOS to you, Byron!!
I, too, am taking my health/life into my own hands.
I am going for my consultation for a LAP-BAND. I go this Wednesday (7/9).
You don't know me, but I found your link on a friends site. Good for you for taking control! My husband recently joined WW and we have both seen the benefits. If you don't have the surgery, I would highly recommend it, especially if your probs are portion control!
I'm one of Christin's friends and I was reading all her friend's blogs when I came upon yours. I'm studying both nutrition and kinesiology and I just want to say that I think you've got a great outlook for your situation. The fact that you are determined to do what it takes to make such a life change will help you so much. I hope all goes well and that you can achieve what you are aiming for! I wish you the best of luck!
Ariana
losing 5-10% BMI is hard work! i think we as a culture are just used to 'overweightedness' these days. i am still trying to get down to my goal BMI since having my last baby, and people are always telling me i don't have to lose weight either. i figure its between me and the scale. good luck with the surgery and recovery. i hope this will help you take charge of your health.
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